Keurig? Ew. Ugh. It's 2016 and some people still don't know GOOD coffee, they still drink shits from Folgers/instant coffee, overpriced Keurig pods, Starbucks, or Dunkin Donuts.
You can make beautifully flavored coffee with cheap french press or aeropress (around 25 bucks) and buy roasted beans in local coffee shop that was roasted literally in same day or a day before, not so a lot of them because roasted beans spoil after a week plus it stops smelling nice and coffee will be more bitter. Then you can grind it, and you'll notice the smell of fresh grinded coffee. That's the coffee. Grinded beans spoil after 30 minutes so it's recommended to grind right before roasting coffee. Roast it with french press, aeropress or whatever you have. Cheap coffee machine will ruin it. Now you can enjoy the coffee, sipping while smelling the delicious aroma of its beans you bought in local shop. If it's over-sour, over-bitter, over-whatever, you dun it wrong.
Drink good coffee, people, no bad! Coffee shouldn't be bitter, but delicious with nice aroma smell to it.
I am not sure what was more satirical, the play or this reply. Lovely.